Miracle Question Answer Time!!!

To better distinguish the difference between the authors...

Jetty's responses will be in Bold

Benz' responses will be in italic

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the first "MIRACLE QUESTION ANSWER TIME" with your friends Jetty and the Benz! We're answering all those tough question's that mortal men seem to brush off or plug their ears and shout "LA LA LA LA LA!"

Josh Leon from Gangstaville, Michigan asks:

"Ay Dawg, why do parents yell at you to grow up, but complain about they's babies growin' to fast?"

Well, when your parents are yelling at you it's probably because you've done something horribly wrong, like saying you're going to church when she just knows that you're huffing glue with husky puppies and/or wrestling endangered species. Maybe you should stop lying to your mom and all your problems will be gone. Now that I think of it, it's YOU that's the horrible person here.
What I think you should do is go out and find yourself a baby. The next time your mom yells at you for not being grown up hold up the baby and say, "I don't poop myself! Tell this baby to grow UP!" or, "This baby just ate something off the floor... I only eat drugs that makes me way more adult."



Abraham Haddad from Beersheba, TN. asks:
"How does gravity work?"
gravity, gravitation, gravitational attraction, gravitational force ((physics) the force of attraction between all masses in the universe; especially the attraction of the earth's mass for bodies near its surface) Yeah right! Next your gonna tell me Lindsay Lohan is doing drugs and being thrown in jail. Have you not seen the parent trap!? Those girls are angels!!! The above was found on a google search... when did google become so untrustworthy. Oh and the photoshopped pictures of the Lohan's are so obviously fake! Curse you google...curse you.
Well Abraham my red neck-Arab friend, since Jetty did nothing to answer your question, why don't  you get a helium balloon, go in your backyard and let go.  This proves that gravity is an absolute myth.  I recommend going back inside and tying everything you own down because if you don't it will all fly away into the earth's atmosphere, eventually burning up! Hope this helps!


Jetty's wife from the windy city of Rialto asks:
"Get off the Internet and tell that shark teethed kid to go home!"

Well, sugar pants... that's not a question its a statement. I would get off the Internet but I'm trying to do as much as I can on this computer before the owner's of this house come home! Oh, and the shark toothed kid is here to take the fall in case they come home early. I can say I caught him and they should call the authorities as I make my getaway.
Mrs. Jetty, I apologize and I will be leaving as soon as possible.  Please, just don't punch me in the mouth again!

Briana Melchor from Walla Walla, WA. asks:

"Using the restroom is the most private thing... most married couples don't share that part of themselves. So then why is it acceptable to do it in front of strangers?"

I don't know where you're from, but here in the united states of America it's perfectly fine to do your business in front of your husband/wife.  If they truly loved you then they wouldn't care when you're blasting one.  If this is a problem you're having with your husband, then maybe you should reconsider your concept of "love".
I agree with Benz... dropping a deuce in front of your husband/wife is a sure way of saying "I love you." With every "kur-plunk" of water splashing or brain vein from showing a poop whose boss, is just your bowels saying, "baby, this is the real deal." However sharing that in public is another story. Walking into a public restroom while another dude is dropping it like its hot is just gross! I have to make a pee pee and here's some dude making it hard to breathe. That's why the toilet paper is so thin. So that way you'll never want your finger to rip through the paper while you wipe again and hold it until you get home.  


Richard Johnson from Jackman, ME. asks:
"How was there a moon?"

What do you mean "was?" what happened to the MOON!!!!!?????
Yes.


Genji Hatahama from East Sparta, OH. asks:
"Why is it that when married couples who are ready to start a family find it a struggle to conceive, yet you hear that 13-16 year olds are already on their 2nd or 3rd baby?"

You must be from Colton, California right? Well Goonji, it's a known fact that females are more fertile in their younger years, so it's your fault for waiting so long, but it's a good thing you did because babies are evil. So...maybe you should just adopt some kids. Black babies are pretty darn adorable...

I don't want to say that babies are a punishment, but... I think that's what your question is really asking. If you don't wait to get married before you have "intercourse" then BLAM karma elbow drops the female uterus. While a family that waits to be financially secure tries and tries to produce offspring which is Karma saying... "dude, don't let your wife ruin that smoking bod!" So the answer is clearly adoption. Although I would say adopt a Polynesian baby, because they have amazing hair.

No...black babies are more adorable.
Polynesian
Black BABIES
POLYNESIAN!!
BLAAAACK!!!
POLYNESIAN!!!!!!!!


and thus concludes the "MIRACLE QUESTION ANSWER TIME"








make sure to send your questions to understudylost@gmail.com for the next MIRACLE QUESTION ANSWER TIME.